Rudimentary Ramblings

I'm quite tired of living a life of a conformist. I'm bored with abiding the law. I get no thrills by sticking to the speed limit of 60 (or is it 50 I don't really know). There are so many people I'd like to shoot with a bullet shot straight into their heart but I can't. Section 302 of the Indian Penal Code stops me from doing that. I'd like to run through Parliament when its in session yelling abuses at the top of my lungs. I'm afraid I'd be shot dead long before I even got to the gate. I have fantasies about hurling Molotov cocktails into the studios of what we shamefully call "news channels". But I don't really like going to jail for it. I'd like to jump into one of those new Sukhois and take it for a joy ride. Unfortunately I don't even know where the Air Force keeps them. It's high time I stopped being a citizen of a country run by others and got myself a country run by me with others as citizens. I want my own personal banana republic!!

A Banana republic is a pejorative term for a small, often Latin American, Caribbean or African country that is politically unstable, dependent on limited agriculture, and ruled by a small, self-elected, wealthy and corrupt clique. Now, I don't want any small or wealthy clique. It should be just me and my subjects and of course my army. After all, what is a banana republic without an all powerful army. Now I don't want something very large. A small island in the Pacific would suffice for my Utopic banana republic. I'll be prudent and even call it Utopia. How cool is that??

Now what kind of nation shall be Utopia? A land of unlimited fun and freedom of course. Speed limits? Of course. It will be the largest number on the speedometer of your car. You hate your local politicians? Well that is just not possible because I would be the supreme power and you can't kill your only authority figure can you? Got a bone to pick with some one? There are no courts of judges in Utopia. You just fight it out Fight Club style. No more messy court cases and no more time wasted. And they call America the land of freedoms!! HUH!!

What about me? Well I would of course have no less than 50 mansions all sea side of course. My own personal gold plated Sukhoi for me to take out on a joyride. A yatch no smaller than the Titanic shall befit me. Of course, I can't have fewer cars than the Sultan of Brunei so I guess its 1001 of the worlds fastest and most exquisite automobiles for me. Ahh.. what a life!! My most prized possession would be a gold plated AK-47 which obviously only fires golden bullets. After all, it should be an honour getting shot by a demi-god such as me. I shall name every second street after me and declare my birthday a national holiday. The national food shall be banana splits of course (some pun intended).

Aah.. If only I could.....

PS:- Its late and its the two cans of beer that led me to the above four paragraphs of incoherent ramblings. Maybe next time I'll have something more sensible to rant about.